Milestone Birthday Party: A Tuxedo for the Host

At a milestone birthday, the host should dress slightly more formally than the guests, and a tuxedo is the neatest way to do it without show. You open the party, welcome guests, give a speech and stand in almost every photograph, so your clothes must cope with all of that. A tuxedo with the right cut and the right colour will do the work for you.

The host dresses a little above the guests

There is an unwritten rule at every party: the host dresses at or above the level of the most formal guest, never below. If the invitation says black tie, wear a tuxedo; if it says cocktail, you might wear a fine suit or a coloured tuxedo to stand out. This small gap helps guests recognise the main figure without a loudspeaker.

Avoid the opposite extreme as well. If guests are very relaxed and you appear in full black tie with a bow tie, the party can feel stiff. So decide the dress code first, then dress one step above it. The article on wearing a tuxedo by age discusses cut and colour for each stage, whether you are 40, 50 or 60 and beyond.

A colour of your own

If guests all wear black and dark tones, a coloured tuxedo makes you the deliberate centre of attention. A few directions worth trying:

• Burgundy or wine red: rich, warm, suited to mature years and to rooms lit with warm lamps. TUX-026, a wine red with satin peak lapels, and TUX-131, a burgundy velvet with black satin peak lapels, are two to consider. Both belong to the Burgundy and jewel tones collection.
• Midnight blue: formal without looking like the guests' black; for example TUX-018.
• Ivory dinner jacket: suited to an evening party outdoors or at a resort, when the host is the only one in white.

Do not wear a colour you have never tried, however. Put it on once before the party to be sure the shade suits your skin tone and build. If you are not confident with colour, keep a black or midnight suit and change the bow tie and pocket square to a colour of your own; that is enough to set you apart.

State the dress code clearly on the invitation

A formal party seldom fails because of the food; it fails because guests do not know what to wear. Write the dress code on the card in a short line, for example:

• Black tie: "Dress code: Black tie (tuxedo, evening gown)".
• Cocktail: "Dress code: Cocktail, dark tones preferred".
• With a colour theme: "Suggested palette: black, midnight blue, bronze gold".

If you have foreign guests or people unfamiliar with dress codes, add a brief note such as "tuxedo or dark suit both welcome". Clear wording reassures guests and saves you phone calls asking the same question. The article on hosting a dinner party at home has more detail if you are entertaining at home.

Keepsake photographs

A milestone party is often remembered through its photographs years later, so your outfit must hold up in front of the lens:

• Take group portraits with family and friends early, while the jacket is still smooth, your hair is tidy and no glass has been spilled.
• Party venues usually have warm, dim light; midnight blue and wine red photograph with more depth than pure black. For more detail, read about tuxedos that photograph well.
• Carry a spare pocket square and stand with your shoulders square. Button the jacket when standing and unbutton it when seated.
• Tell the photographer your jacket colour so they can choose a backdrop and lighting to match.
• If you have pieces with personal meaning, such as gift cufflinks or a lapel pin, bring them; the photographs will have more of a story.

Advice from the Mon Amie workroom

For an occasion that happens only once, like a milestone birthday, order early before the party; making time depends on the style and the fitting schedule, and your consultant will confirm it when you are measured. Book a fitting at a showroom to see the cloth in person and choose a colour of your own.