Black Tie Etiquette: How to Behave in a Tuxedo

A correct tuxedo is complete only when the man wearing it behaves to match. The conventions below are less strict than they sound; they are mostly small habits, and once learned you stop thinking about them. The core idea: keep the suit tidy, and do not drop the formality before your host does.

Button when standing, unbutton when seated

On a single-breasted jacket the familiar rule is to button when standing or walking and unbutton when sitting. The jacket then does not strain or crease across the stomach, and you sit more comfortably. A one-button jacket has only the one to fasten; on a two-button jacket, fasten the top and leave the lower undone, as on a suit.

On a double-breasted jacket many men stay buttoned all evening if it fits well, because it is cut to be worn standing. Undoing it for a long seated stretch is also accepted. Always refasten as you stand, especially before greeting someone.

When to take the jacket off

The safest rule: remove it only after your host or the eldest at the table does, or when invited to. At a formal dinner, nobody should go first, since it signals that the ceremonial part is over.

There are reasonable exceptions: real heat at an outdoor party, or when dancing is under way and the whole room has relaxed. Even then, ask a brief question or wait for others to lead. When you do remove it, drape it neatly over the chair back, not inside out.

When to loosen the bow tie

The bow tie holds the formality to the very end. Tradition says that loosening or removing it late in the evening, once dinner is done, there has been plenty of dancing and the host is relaxed, is the sign of a good night. Until then, keep it straight.

A few things to avoid: do not loosen it while those around you are still correct, do not leave it crooked while talking, and if you do loosen it, let it hang softly or tuck it into the breast pocket rather than throwing it down. A hand-tied bow looks far more natural when slightly undone at the end of the night; a pre-tied one offers no such option.

At the table

• Napkin: place it on your lap after sitting, dab your mouth lightly and return it. Never tuck it into your collar.
• Sleeves and cuffs: take care when cutting food or reaching across. Cufflinks sit slightly proud and catch glasses or sauce.
• Accessories: the bow tie and lapels catch sauce easily. Lean to the plate gently rather than lowering your face.
• Pockets: do not stuff a wallet, phone or keys into the outer pockets; it wrecks the line. Use inside pockets or trouser pockets.

For knives, forks and glassware at a formal dinner, see table manners at a formal dinner.

On the dance floor

Before stepping on, you may unbutton the jacket to move freely, and refasten when you leave the floor. Keep the jacket on, do not roll up your shirt sleeves, and make sure your cufflinks are firm; a secure pair is essential. If you are too warm, step outside for air instead of removing the jacket in the middle of the room.

When speaking or giving a toast

Stand straight, button the jacket and check that the bow tie is level. Put your glass down, or hold it in your left hand if the microphone is in your right. Keep the speech short, look at your listeners and thank the host. When finished, you may unbutton as you sit.

A note from the Mon Amie workroom

Etiquette is far easier when the suit fits: the jacket does not strain when buttoned, and the sleeves are long enough not to ride up when you raise a glass. A Mon Amie consultant checks these points at your fitting. Read more on black tie dress codes and the dress code page, or look at a model such as the Black Tuxedo with Pleated Shirt (TUX-079). Book a fitting at a showroom.