Both Fathers: Coordinating the Families' Outfits

To make both fathers look in harmony in the wedding photographs, agree on the level of formality first and only then on colour. The two fathers may wear two different outfits as long as they share a language: both in evening formalwear, or both in daytime formal suits, and in harmony with the mothers' ao dai. When two families stand side by side, the viewer should see one harmonious group, not two weddings photographed together.

Agree on a level of formality

The most common mismatch is one side in a tuxedo and the other in an ordinary business suit. An early conversation between the two families, choosing one of three levels, solves it:

1. Tuxedos for both fathers, suited to an evening reception and an invitation reading black tie.
2. Dark formal suits (black, charcoal, navy) for both, suited to a lunch reception or a moderately formal wedding.
3. One in a tuxedo and one in a men's ao dai with headwrap, when a family wants to keep traditional ceremony. See the men's ao dai instead of a tuxedo.

Once chosen, both fathers should sit at the same level, equal to or one notch below the groom, as the father of the bride's tuxedo explains. If the groom is dressed very elaborately, both fathers should be simpler so the roles do not blur.

Pairing with the mothers' ao dai

The mothers' ao dai is usually the strongest note of colour in a family photograph, so the fathers' clothing should recede into a backdrop. Practical rules:

• Fathers in black, midnight or charcoal; these neutral tones suit every ao dai colour.
• If the mother's ao dai is deep (red, jade, purple), the father may add a pocket square or bow in the same tone, small and restrained.
• If the ao dai has a large pattern or gold embroidery, the father keeps a plain suit and avoids metallic sheen.
• Father and mother of the same side should read as a pair: if the mother wears an ornate brocade ao dai, the father should choose satin lapels and a silk bow of matching formality; if she wears light silk, he can be a little simpler.

The two mothers should also exchange their colours, avoiding identical shades or a sharp clash. Our note on ao dai for the family ceremony and tuxedo for the reception offers more guidance for each part of the wedding day.

No need to match colours

Many families think the two fathers must look identical, but they do not. Two outfits in black and midnight, at the same formality, are more harmonious than two in the same colour where one is formalwear and the other a business suit. Some ways to make two outfits agree without being twins:

• The same bow or pocket square colour, with different suits.
• The same lapel style, in different widths because the men's builds differ.
• The same black base, one with a waistcoat and one without (see waistcoat or cummerbund).
• The same black leather shoes and the same metal tone in the buttons.

What matters is that each man is well fitted, because a suit cut close to a middle-aged father always looks better than an identical one that is loose or tight. Different builds producing different cuts is perfectly normal.

Photographs of the two households

When two families stand in the same frame, each father is usually beside his child and beside his wife. A few ideas for harmony:

• Arrange the line so both fathers stand symmetrically, with the couple in the centre.
• Button the jacket when standing and open it when seated.
• Keep the boutonnieres the same size between the two fathers, and smaller than the groom's.
• Ask someone to check collars, bows and pocket squares before the shutter.
• Take pictures of each family separately as well as both together.

If both fathers wear black tuxedos, the joint photograph will be neat and consistent; if one wears midnight, the difference is slight and even adds subtlety.

Talk early to avoid mismatch

A short message in a shared group chat between the two families, stating the style of clothing, the main colour and fitting times, saves a good deal of trouble. The two men could also come to one fitting so the tailor can balance them. If you prefer not to commission outfits, our tuxedo rental page covers rental; the price depends on the model, so ask your consultant.

Suggestions from the Mon Amie workroom

If the two families live far apart, your consultant can coordinate style and colour over Zalo, then arrange for each father to visit the showroom nearest to him. See styles on the wedding tuxedo page and book a fitting at Mon Amie.