Wearing a Tuxedo for the Person Beside You: Pairing Tips

There is a second reason to wear a tuxedo, apart from looking good yourself or meeting the dress code: the person standing next to you. She may have spent weeks on her gown, her hair, her shoes. When you step in beside her in a suit prepared to match, you answer her preparation with your own.

Your partner has prepared painstakingly

Think of what often happens before an evening event or a wedding on the woman's side: choosing a dress, fitting it, adjusting it, choosing shoes and accessories, hair and make-up. For many it is a long process, with a lot of deliberation and sometimes a lot of worry.

That does not mean you must put in the same amount of effort. But if you throw on a makeshift suit just to get by, the imbalance shows, especially in photographs of the two of you. Your partner notices it, even if she says nothing.

A couple's photograph in balance

A good couple's portrait is one where two people look as though they belong to the same story. If she wears a long evening gown, a tuxedo is its natural counterpart, because both belong to the same class of evening dress. A business suit next to an evening gown will be out of tone.

Balance does not mean identical. It means harmony in formality, in fabric, in colour tone. A glossy satin gown suits satin lapels. A velvet gown suits a tuxedo with a velvet bow tie. Gowns in emerald, burgundy or midnight blue tend to photograph beautifully beside black or midnight blue because the dark ground lets the colour of the dress stand out.

Respect for each other

There is a simple truth: people notice when they are valued. You wear a correct, well-fitting suit not because anyone requires it but because you want the evening to be complete for both of you. That is usually felt without being said.

It is also something concrete you can do. Not everyone is good at saying kind words, but anyone can prepare with care. An embrace when you collect her, in a tuxedo you chose with her in mind, says a good deal. The piece on dates and wedding anniversaries discusses such occasions further.

Ideas for pairing

The following are general suggestions; talk with your partner to choose well.

• Ask about the gown's colour and fabric first. A simple step that many skip. Once you know the colour, you can choose bow tie and pocket square to suit.
• A deeply coloured gown. Red, emerald, purple: pair with black or midnight blue and restrained accessories so the gown is the centre.
• A pale or white gown. A black tuxedo gives strong contrast. With white, midnight blue or black both work. For example TUX-086, a wedding suit in solid black with black satin shawl lapels, and TUX-043, a navy tuxedo with black satin shawl lapels.
• A metallic gown. Silver or champagne, say: keep the black tuxedo very simple and add only cufflinks in a matching metal tone.
• Pocket square and bow tie. A detail echoing the gown, such as a pocket square with a touch of its colour, is a subtle way to pair without looking like matching outfits.
• Level of formality. If the gown is long and formal, the tuxedo fits. If it is a short cocktail dress, consider a dark suit, unless the dress code is black tie.

The article on matching a tuxedo with your companion goes deeper into colour and accessories for each type of gown.

Do not let pairing become a constraint

It should be said plainly: no rule says you must match her gown exactly. The point of pairing is harmony, not sameness. If you feel more at ease in a classic frame and let her be the one who stands out, that is an excellent choice. What matters is that both of you feel handsome and valued.

Book a fitting at Mon Amie

If you are preparing together, bring a photograph or fabric swatch of her gown to your fitting so a specialist can help you pick accessory tones that suit. You can book a fitting at a showroom or see our wedding tuxedos.